Tired

I tend to forget what tired truly mean.
I tend to sleep less nowadays.
I tend to stay awake in the midnight.
I tend to drink more beer.

Perhaps the truly tired is my heart.
The feeling of ignorance of lots of things.
The feeling of things are not that important anymore.
The feeling of others no longer truly matter anymore.

I think I'm physically not tired but I'm mentally tired.
I wonder how things will turn out in the future.
I no longer looking forward anymore.
And what replaced that,
was fear.
I'm afraid that in the end.
We are just stranger.
We are just hi-bye friend.
We are just course mate.
And we were friends.

I wonder is there anyone care that much as me.
Or I will just hurt because I always think that others care as well.
And turn out, 
they never even bother to know how I felt actually.
I'm just a tool for them.
A tool to ask question.
A tool to just clear their doubt.
Nothing but just a tool.
We aren't even friends.
Ha-ha, pathetic.