Mission

I bring along a mission with me when I was born.
I do not know what mission is that.
But I know it was in planted in my mind.

Day and night,
I try to figure it out.
But I could not get any hint about this mission.


I know that I will change this world.
I know that I will influence people.
I know that...
I know nothing, but I know something will happen in the future.
It is just matter of time only.


Everything that happened,
Is preparing me for the day.
I do not know how long it takes,
But the day will come eventually.
And this world will either become a better world,
Or ends up in hell.

Lost

I feel lost.
Very lost.
I do not know where am I heading.
I do not know where is my destination.
And I do not know why am I still walking.

I'm not sure things that I'm doing now are right or wrong.
I'm not sure things that I'm doing now are worth it or not.
I'm not sure,
What am I doing.

I'm breathing but I don't feel alive.
I'm awake but I'm dreaming.
I'm not sure which one is the reality and which one is the dream.

I can't get out from it.
I'm trap.
I could not find the exit.


Or I choose to not find the exit?

Is it I'm the one who refuse to step out from the trap?
Is it I'm the one who refuse to wake up from the dream?
Because in my dream, 
Pain does not exist.

Lucky

I'm not romantic,
Well, at least I tried to be one sometimes.
I'm not handsome,
Well, at least I tried to be one sometimes as well.

She is a great girl.
She is kind.
She is patient.
She is loving.
She is gentle.
She is perfect.
As always.

I might not be the best for her,
Well, there are a bunch of nice guys out there.
I might not be the type she likes,
Well, it is okay because she is my girlfriend now.
I just want to say,
I'm lucky to have her.

I'm not fine

时间能冲淡痛苦，但是，我并不想用时间来治愈一切。

It was a torturing semester I would say.
I  know things will be hard, but I never know that I can't take it.
I thought that I was strong enough to deal with all shits,
I thought that pain is inevitable and suffer is just a choice.
I thought...
I thought I will be just fine.
But everything is just a thought.

I'm tired.

I had tried my best in coping with everything that I should but I failed.
I started to fall apart and break into pieces.
I would say I'm fine if I were asked in those days.
At least, I still can force a smile on my face.
But I can't now.
I'm not fine.

Pathetically,
I only can still tell myself,
Everything will be fine.